navigating a world which feels like gravity is working in reverse

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Yup…. more poetry

if kindness truly mattered
men on dating sites would lie about their character more often
than their height and income

God is gravity
dispense with him
and you will have to find which direction “up” is

the difference between a deep conversation and venting
is your level relative to the other person you’re engaging

i have a photographic memory for embarrassing incidents
because a lot of them explain
why i’m no longer in the picture

it’s rude for Christian friends I was close to ghosting me
but it’s also rude for me to live a life
that screams “everything you believe is a lie”

my soul is so small
it doesn’t have space for all the sadness
so I compress it and store it as anger

taking an ssri anti depressant is like lighting a match on the john
it keeps you from smelling the shit you keep taking from assholes

forgiveness is nice
but the people who end up doing it
are almost always on the bottom
to the negative 490’th power

disability is a Christ buster
just letting your life speak
living an unvarnished disability existence
is enough to make Christians’ brains do a backflip

the quality of information you receive
is commensurate with your place in society
(that’s why a social worker at the indigent clinic
will tell you email reply time isn’t indicitive of someone’s concern for you
but the CEO of Google will say the opposite)

my brain works scientifically by default
if you want it to work any other way
you have to get me to play a cognitive trick
which i have to be unaware i’m playing
lest it be torn apart

most of therapy’s tools only work
when you have extricated yourself from an abusive situation
just like a hammer can nail new boards together
but can’t make anything out of a pile of rubble

abusers are like gas giants
their gravity’s so strong you get sucked in
and your ability to escape
is inversely proportional to how near you are to them
they bend everything in the solar system around them
and even things far away like portentous comets
are flung with their tug

life is mostly drudgery
not being treated like shit is what makes it worth living
and there is a lot less of that happening
if you happen to have a disability

once you can’t trust yourself
you can’t trust God
because trusting God necessitates
being able to trust yourself