From an early age I always associated the concept of God with pitch black. I know this was the opposite of what you were supposed to associate God with.
Also when I was seven or eight I couldn’t think about people (or at least I wasn’t aware that I could hold someone in my mind in my inner monologue). I know this because my mom used to sing this 70’s song to me that went like, “baby baby baby do you love me / baby baby baby do you care / baby baby baby are you thinking of me”. And I could never answer yes to the third statement. Fast forward to age 16 and the exact opposite happened, people got stuck in my mind, particularly the girl I liked in high school. She was/is beautiful. Dork and nerd kryptonite. So much so that a fellow computer club member would chase her around the computer lab.