navigating a world which feels like gravity is working in reverse

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xanga bits

From my Xanga (’03 ’04)

Seeds of certain kinds of trees only germinate under extreme
heat. I think the same could be said about certain kinds of evil
in people’s soul. The seeds have always been lying there…
it just takes an extended period of extreme suffering to crack these babies
open. But quickly the seed with the tiniest of roots showing
turns into a giant under and overground trunk with roots and branches.

Your IQ might be your own, but a lot of what you know and perhaps even your desire to acquire this knowledge comes from teachers.

In elementary school you may have been taught about how the great plains Indians used every part of the Buffalo they killed.
Suffering (and the oftentimes ensuing desertion) is like a part of you being killed.  Like the Buffalo, you must make an effort to put to use the dead parts of you to help those who will follow.
Every fifth stoplight tells the story of a terrible accident.
You will never get that part of you (and those relationships) back but you can be the vaccine that keeps life.