Verbal abuse hurts the most when it is accurate. People fed a diet of modern psychology wish to write off all abusive communications because the ill will of the person dishing out said abuse. But the more wrong you have with you the more likely verbal abuse flung at you is going to be accurate. For example I had a best friend years ago that called me pathetic. Had I made something of my self that abuse would not have hurt so much. Another girl on cutting me off said I was painfully awkward. Also accurate.
Pastors and psychologists generally have enough of their lives together not to have the verbal abuse slung at them be accurate. But those of us lower down this is not the case. And the cognitive tricks and platitudes helping professionals parrot don’t help us.