One of the things my dad used to say is, “it’s only money”. Basically we have always been poor (at least for Americans) and so much of what one needs to advance in life requires significant financial outlay. For example going to school to get another degree or even getting a therapist that specializes with adults on the spectrum. I was also thinking about this today because there is a great recipe API I could use to make a site for people with food allergies but its cost structure is such that I could never make the site free.
The second had to do with actively verses passively failing. Basically existentially trying and failing feels worse than not trying at all. People talk about taking “social risks” and such but they don’t often speak of the emotional fallout of repeated failure. It took me seven years to find friends here and some of those years I just quit trying. It was just luck, not effort, that brought me the few friends I do have. Getting back to the point people romanticizing trying often gloss over the fact that some people (especially as you get closer to the bottom) are going to fail so much that for them it would have better if they hadn’t tried at all. Not something I’d put on a motivation poster but true.