You are at a beautiful beach at high tide. Then the tide recedes and you see a ton of garbage that has sunk to the bottom. That’s the way I feel about the interplay of my pathologies, The negative symptoms of my bipolar have made my autism spectrum symptoms more acute. I think in pictures more now. My cadence is off (I respond too early to people’s words). Part of it is just that I don’t have the inner strength to put forth the effort to pass off as neurotypical. The other part of it is I feel more comfortable acting like an aspie so even things about me that allowed me to pass off as neurotypical I have jettisoned in the name of convenience or maybe even laziness.