navigating a world which feels like gravity is working in reverse

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it wasn’t worth it

people say the pain of the process will make sense in the end
but kneading and baking are only worth it if the bread doesn’t burn

As I write this some people are trying to concoct some kind of redemptive narrative on how the last four years of Trump made us better somehow. Some people paid the ultimate price for his ineptitude with COVID with their lives. Others’ mental health was reduced. I’m a mess. Two of my smartest friends are engaging Q Anon, one as a believer while the other as a vocal critic. In 2016 I had hope that this could be turned around but now, even with more Democrats in power I do not. I think we passed a tipping point where both the radical left and radical right have come to believe the game has already been lost. Fatalism is the most powerful way to be powerless. And people on both ends of the political spectrum are gaining numbers while the middle is being hollowed out.

I didn’t suffer so much directly from Trump despite a couple brushes with losing my healthcare. But I think sometimes what you lose in the suffering is worse than the hurt of the suffering itself. Society is more toxic than ever. Families are torn apart. Feminism is attacked, hurting women, and its backlash hurts men. Let me tell you, it has felt like eight years, not four. So maybe Trump slowed time down so much that he packed eight years worth of misery into four.