With a visible disability your every interaction with the world is an incursion. Your disability makes others in the room uncomfortable and it is incumbent upon you to put them at ease. My little brother actually brought this to my attention when he hurt his hand a couple of years ago. The hand looked awkward while it was healing (he called it an alien baby hand though I couldn’t tell anything was wrong). Now my little brother has good social skills so has no problem scoping out the room and finding a fitting way to put the people in the room at ease with this hand. Unfortunately as an aspie I do not have this skill. When I was a child people were more direct about my disability (very thick glasses) so I could clear the air and then they were fine with it. As an adult people are more obtuse, without the directness I’m lost—and I lose.