navigating a world which feels like gravity is working in reverse

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…envious of people who can play mind games

The difference between a mind that can play mind games and a mind that cannot is as big of a difference between a smartphone and a landline.  The former can run all manner of apps while the latter is stuck just being a phone.  I’m envious of people who can shift in and out of magical thinking at the snap of a finger.  And they can do this with the goal of getting something in the hereafter.  Meanwhile I’m here stuck in the mud of logical thinking.  Therapy only really works if one can play mind games, tricking yourself into thinking differently about the actors and situations in your life.  Change inside of you only happens with a human authority as a proxy (though admitting this weakens the authority figure’s power over you so one must pretend the change is of their own volition).  But you have to buy into said authority figure (pastor, therapist, or someone else) and play mind games with their authority stories they tell you.

I look at mind games as the bacteria in one’s gut.  We have this knee-jerk response, “oooo bacteria’, but without those bacteria we wouldn’t be able to digest our food properly.