navigating a world which feels like gravity is working in reverse

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  • Category Archives Power Dynamic
  • humility

    I tend to regularly rail against western religion here but I will give it credit where it is due.  It has a failure management mechanism that isn’t half bad.  Basically modern psychology tells people to double down on their pride after they fail.  But Judeo-Christian faith asks people to see these experiences as humbling us and calls us to embrace humility.

    I look at the Democratic party, defeat after defeat, and still thinking ignoring the most passionate half of their constituents is a good way to run a political party.  I get it that the young people have figured out you’re in the pocket of of the oligarchs and you don’t like it.  You’ll have to get over this.  The Republicans embraced their outsider and you spurned him, look who’s winning.



  • Quoting The Uncomfortable Reason Why It Came To This In Dallas Yesterday:

    Now let’s take a step back and look at the forces that would drive someone to do something like this yesterday. Here’s the reality that we don’t often talk about – that societies are held together less by laws and force and threats of force than we are by ethereal and fragile concepts like mutual respect and belief in the justness of the system itself.



  • the system is no longer just

    Comment I posted on Reddit thread how millennials are checked out of work:

    People are just wising up. In America religion was a catalyst to getting employees to put their nose down and work hard and employers (at their best) would agree to treat their employees justly. But in the last 40 years employers have tried to milk this for all it’s worth without holding up their end of the bargain. It worked for a while but eventually employees wised up and started working like they were disposable. And more recently the younger generation is dropping out of religion like flies because for them there has never been a time where the social contract was more than a piece of paper.

    People seem to forget that you only reap what you sow.

    The system will bend over backwards to get us to believe it is just.  This is because if we believe the system is just then we’ll feel a lot worse when we go up against it.  I was brought up Christian and to believe the system was just.  And it was more just when my parents were growing up, in the early 80’s a church my dad worked at even paid international airfare to get my eyes checked every six months while they were in Honduras.  But my experience after 2000 is the Christian and secular system is no longer just.  But because I was brought up to believe the system was just I feel worse going up against it than I probably should.  I know the upcoming generation won’t and I’m happy for them.



  • Racism is Real

    Racism is Real: Trump Helps Show It [nytimes.com]:

    Tomás Jiménez, an associate professor of sociology and comparative studies in race and ethnicity at Stanford University, uses what he calls the “ghost metaphor” to describe the quandary of people who personally experience or aim to draw attention to racism. “It haunts every aspect of your life, but nobody else sees it and they don’t believe you” he said. “Sometimes it makes a very pronounced appearance, and that’s why people seize on it.”

    My autobiography.  The times in my life when I looked normal enough and could pass as non disabled were the times I got treated leagues better and got jobs.  Of course I have multiple disabilities so often times one or the other would sink my chances, usually my visual impairment but sometimes my aspergers.  I always got treated the worst in church and job interviews.  And a vast majority of the prejudice flied under the radar, so much so that my family thinks I’ve just been unlucky in life.  Because it defends the oppressive social order thinking about it in those terms.  It’s more comfortable.



  • Healthcare Reform

    I always thought states refusing to expand Medicaid was racially motivated.  This NYTimes Piece gives me more evidence:

    Gains for blacks were muted because they disproportionately live in states that chose not to expand Medicaid. About 60 percent of poor blacks live in states that did not expand Medicaid. While the share of poor blacks covered by Medicaid did rise by two percentage points in those states, the rate rose by six points in states that expanded the program.



  • something wrong with you

    A thing as common as dirt that those in power do is getting people to believe there is something wrong with them (instead of there being something wrong with the system) when things don’t go the way they’re supposed to.  In religion when people don’t experience God at all like this God is Silent post, people say there is something missing in them.  If you can’t “find God” there’s a problem with you, not with the religious system.  Never mind that people on the spectrum have much higher rates of atheism and agnosticism than the general population.  Because of this our inability to “access God” is chalked up to the incorrect wiring in our brains.  The same parts of the brain that facilitate social skills between humans facilitate them between you and the divine I guess.  It’s just kind of suspect that one would have to have “social skills” to interact with a deity.  Couldn’t this part of the brain just as easily be making the whole thing up?



  • No Fail Safe, No Feel Safe!

    In order for me to feel safe I need to have fail safes in place which is pretty much the opposite of how God works. God promises he will never fail you and then sets the rhetorical stage so that no matter what he does it’s impossible for him to do so. Any situation where God appears to fail is chalked up to your senses failing to grasp how he is—in fact—succeeding (as if God’s people dropping out of your life and staying away aren’t sign enough that things aren’t going according to “God’s plan”). On the other hand, in a fail safe there is a clear cut specific delineation of what constitutes a failure. It’s a guarantee that if someone doesn’t come through with what they promised, something will automatically be triggered (it’s the plan B that gives the plan A an incentive to work). For example a pizza delivery that becomes free if it doesn’t arrive in a half an hour. As someone on the autistic spectrum I need routine and predictability fail safes afford me. I’d rather have a god who was safe than a god who claims to do what’s best.



  • Attitude is a Loss

    The further one is away from privilege the less effect what’s in their head has on how successful they become.  This is because attitude is like a product key and privilege is like having the entire piece of 50 Gigabyte software already downloaded (as to lack of privilege which is like having to download it using dial-up).  With privilege you’re sitting on a gold mine, you just have to flip the switch to make it operational.  Not to say that being successful is easy even for privileged people, just that their efforts (like at their full time decently paid employment, marriage-bound relationships, fancy degrees) are credited as effort by those around them.  Someone with a disability that is volunteering some, fighting depression, and going to the gym twice a week to stem their dwindling leg muscle mass is probably putting forth just as much effort as the first person but society does not see it as effort because it doesn’t fit the narrative of the protestant work ethic where socially sanctioned evidence of gain must be seen.  Just keeping one’s head above water is almost a mark of shame in this society.

    When you are far from privilege the attitude of those in power over you is what is most important (attitude basically becomes a coefficient of how much power you have).  If they treat you well and pay you justly, your life will go well.  If they don’t, it won’t.  In Old Testament times there were good kings and bad kings and the subjects kind of just fell in line behind them.  It’s only been a recent phenomenon to even have a second thought about the attitudes and feelings of those without power.  Nobody since the dawn of time has ever cared how those far from power felt or thought, it’s just that now we have the social sciences to thank for forcing us to pretend they matter.  Nobody in any position of power gives a shit about how you feel.  They never did and they never will.  Don’t expect apologies from any of the forces that bilked you into believing that they did.



  • poetry 12 24

    pointing to Jesus
    in defense of Christianity
    is like pointing to the product packaging
    in defense of a product’s quality

    when you admit you’re suicidal to someone you want
    that relationship generally kills itself

    (don’t lean against your invisible cage in a way that creates a posture that couldn’t be maintained solely by your own balance)
    you can’t out the beliefs that you’re not allowed to hold
    because then the powerless would catch on that these beliefs were empowering

    the gospel is fresh water
    to those who are being redeemed
    and salt water
    to those who are perishing

    suffering is measured with an odometer
    the short distance is comedic
    the longer distance is tragic
    and the longest distance flips back to being comedic

    you can tell you are in a hallucination
    when you’re right too much of the time

    when you’re mentally ill
    God and the devil
    are like wires of a bomb
    and you never know where to cut

    there’s a surefire way to test the character of someone you’re in a relationship with
    leave