navigating a world which feels like gravity is working in reverse

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  • Category Archives Faith
  • the supernatural

    <<<my self>>>
    is the only protection i have
    against the experience of the supernatural (sewer-pernatural?)
    God, Satan, and all the rest
    they have little in common
    except for their hatred of me

    psychosis
    is often a polite and urbane way
    of saying one is getting fucked over by the supernatural

    the supernatural protects some (usually hardcore atheists) from itself
    those people experience 0 of it
    you LUCKY SONS OF BITCHES!!!!!!!

    The popularity of Pokemon Go has gotten me thinking about augmented reality and how the supernatural is an invisible layer superimposed on the physical world just like the world of Pokemon Go.  Of course in Pokemon Go anyone with an Android or iPhone gains a window into that world.  The actual supernatural is incredibly cagey and works almost the opposite of Pokemon Go and other augmented reality apps.  You generally have to believe in the supernatural to see it and it doesn’t avail itself on demand just by pulling out your smartphone.  It’s a lot more like the street.  Within 8 hours of being on the street predators already are aware of a runaway’s predicament and start swarming.  Like the street the supernatural is not a world where conventional smarts will do you much good.



  • distracted

    Though I’m pretty godless I still pray once in a while (because I’ve experienced too much of the spiritual world to be an atheist).  I find now that I’m more distracted with my eyes closed than open (because my mind is in overdrive).  So I pray with my eyes open.



  • the system is no longer just

    Comment I posted on Reddit thread how millennials are checked out of work:

    People are just wising up. In America religion was a catalyst to getting employees to put their nose down and work hard and employers (at their best) would agree to treat their employees justly. But in the last 40 years employers have tried to milk this for all it’s worth without holding up their end of the bargain. It worked for a while but eventually employees wised up and started working like they were disposable. And more recently the younger generation is dropping out of religion like flies because for them there has never been a time where the social contract was more than a piece of paper.

    People seem to forget that you only reap what you sow.

    The system will bend over backwards to get us to believe it is just.  This is because if we believe the system is just then we’ll feel a lot worse when we go up against it.  I was brought up Christian and to believe the system was just.  And it was more just when my parents were growing up, in the early 80’s a church my dad worked at even paid international airfare to get my eyes checked every six months while they were in Honduras.  But my experience after 2000 is the Christian and secular system is no longer just.  But because I was brought up to believe the system was just I feel worse going up against it than I probably should.  I know the upcoming generation won’t and I’m happy for them.



  • Cognitive Dissonance

    Cognitive dissonance is experienced as anguish by most Christians.  That’s why they hate engaging people with disabilities.  It’s like we need and orange sign in front of us that says, “prayer doesn’t work zone”.  They have to compartmentalize and divide prayers between the ones that will work and the ones that won’t. Mental illness brings an additional wrinkle into it as now often the voice of God is often telling people crazy shit.



  • unsure

    I’ve come to the conclusion that when you’re young and you are certain about things your sense of logic can keep you in the faith, but as you get older you become more unsure and then your emotions have to pick up the slack. If they’re AWOL you won’t make it in the faith.



  • something wrong with you

    A thing as common as dirt that those in power do is getting people to believe there is something wrong with them (instead of there being something wrong with the system) when things don’t go the way they’re supposed to.  In religion when people don’t experience God at all like this God is Silent post, people say there is something missing in them.  If you can’t “find God” there’s a problem with you, not with the religious system.  Never mind that people on the spectrum have much higher rates of atheism and agnosticism than the general population.  Because of this our inability to “access God” is chalked up to the incorrect wiring in our brains.  The same parts of the brain that facilitate social skills between humans facilitate them between you and the divine I guess.  It’s just kind of suspect that one would have to have “social skills” to interact with a deity.  Couldn’t this part of the brain just as easily be making the whole thing up?



  • On Prayer Working

    One can ask am I taking this bike ride to get me somewhere or am I taking it to get some exercise.  One is doing both simultaneously but is usually focused on one or the other.  In the same way it is helpful to tease out the components of prayer, the spiritual and the kinetic.  The prayer is a spiritual action but may be priming you to do some good that couldn’t come about by appeal to the divine (because God can’t counter free will).  For example prayer for a job.  When you pray for a job you are asking free will to be preempted.  The only way the prayer can be answered is the person being primed to help and work connections.



  • trust in a person vs trust in God

    One of the interesting things that comes out of marketing Christianity as a “personal relationship with God” is people take that paradigm to mean one can trust God the way one trusts a person.  When one trusts a person it is an implicit expectation that they’ll deliver on something.  For example if you trust a pizza delivery company, you expect the pizza there within a reasonable amount of time.  If the pizza doesn’t come you will get mad at the pizza company and maybe leave a bad Yelp review.  But this anger shows that you respect the company in a way.  If the roles were reversed and you didn’t deliver on something you’d respect and accept the resulting bad reviews and understand that was a necessary evil to keep society running smoothly.

    Trust in God is open ended (but people selling you religion fail to mention this).  God cares about you on his own terms.  His actions are not subject to evaluation by empirical evidence, only scripture and church teaching.  That means if God comes through that’s great, if he doesn’t there’s something wrong with the way you are seeing things.  This is almost the exact opposite of how trust between humans works.  You are expected to expect nothing.  Respect is shown by submission instead of empathy.

    Of course Christians try their best to market the faith as allowing one to trust God as one trusts a person.  Of course they don’t tell you that sometimes part of trusting a person involves them betraying your trust (for example when you tell someone you have planned and are about to commit suicide).