Broken Pen

the Buddha would be turning in his grave
if he knew his teaching on detachment
were being appropriated by modern psychology
to discourage attachment to people
to the extent that hyper individualism
was considered the only appropriate way to live

with regards to pride being a sin
Christianity vilifies what it engenders
like having an over eaters anonymous meeting
at a mall food court next to Pizza Hut and Cinnibun

the preening those more successful than you do on instagram
is the punishment for the preening you do there

religion is a gateway drug
desire for the experience of God
goads one towards where one can find it
more easily (drugs and sex)

religion is like wires on a bomb, dangerous
but magnitudes more dangerous when twisted

people say finding some kind of "meaning" in suffering makes life worth living
but I think that only works if you are principled in the first place
(the search for meaning is at the tippy top of Maslow's hierarchy of needs
no matter what those Ivory Tower elites with lifetime tenure tell you)

suffering might initially be a teacher
but it ends up being a tutor
because of those around you dropping out of your life

some people are phantom knives
they ghost you and cut you off
to prove some kind of point

light reaches the high places first
which cast shadows further down
when you are on the bottom
you are often also in the dark

I could believe God to be sovereign in the world the way it is
if I were given a brain liposuction

I asked God for help
but I wasn't there
synthesizing him being there
so I never got any

mental illness is extra-Christian
it lies outside the bounds of the Christian/non Christian dichotomy
it’s like 2 plus 2 equals banana

i walk a fine line between hallucinating
and believing everything is a hallucination

cotards syndrome
is about taking ownership of your death
letting them know that you treat you
the way they treat you

my depression is the chain you jerk
you know you can fuck with me
because the punishment you don
for me resisting you
will play for hours and hours
on the 24-hour news cycle
of my internal monologue
and throw me into despair

you need to figure this out early
before you're eaten alive by loneliness
"how big of a price are you going to pay for you being you"

 

Art

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Poetry

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Read at the Mayan Buzz Cafe Thursday night All Access Open Mic except where noted

After clicking a poem, you can skim all of them by using CTRL-F (to find), F3 (to find next) keywords such as happiness

May 23, 2019 - ask somebody nobody talks to

May 16, 2019 - dope rushes in

May 9, 2019 - their sensors

April 11, 2019 - church in your brain

April 4, 2019 - agency

March 7, 2019 - injection

February 21, 2019 - a towel

February 14, 2019 - tender hearted menu

Jaunuary 3, 2019 - working together

December 6, 2018 - paid to pain

November 29, 2018 - forwards and backwards

November 1, 2018 - hushed tones

October 18, 2018 - falling back

September 27, 2018 - unequal parts

September 6, 2018 - evil

August 30, 2018 - despair and disrepair

July 26, 2018 - penopause

July 26, 2018 - atomized molecule

June 21, 2018 - broken specimen

June 14, 2018 - the last thing

May 24, 2018 - it's over the horizon, it's gone

May 10, 2018 - NSFW-etry

March 29, 2018 - nothing left to take away

March 8, 2018 - fortune blinked

February 8, 2018 - ugly times

January 25, 2018 - the goat

January 11, 2018 - forced installation

December 21, 2017 - quit becoming

December 7, 2017 - knock knock

October 26, 2017 - spewing

October 12, 2017 - on ice

September 21, 2017 - cut the wrong way

September 14, 2017 - taking damage

August 31, 2017 - received as one

August 17, 2017 - broken while remaining working

August 10, 2017 - cognitive triangulate

July 27, 2017 - brain to mouth

June 29, 2017 - goes without saying

June 8, 2017 - don't, didn't

June 1, 2017 - crooked embrace

May 18, 2017 - humanism wasted on humans

May 11, 2017 - divorces us

April 20, 2017 - say what you want

April 6, 2017 - gift economy

March 16, 2017 - pick up that crow bar

February 16, 2017 - be it God or the devil

Feburary 2, 2017 - the rock sank

January 26, 2017 - the greater

January 12, 2017 - late comes too early

December 8, 2016 - hashtag hearts

November 17, 2016 - love sleep tears

November 10, 2016 - bear to the ground

October 27, 2016 - well enough

October 6, 2016 - pain, death, and happiness

September 23, 2016 - you're on the menu

September 16, 2016 - ruse and balancing

August 25, 2016 - blurts from a bygone Xanga

August 18, 2016 - your mole hill, their mountain

August 4, 2016 - you'll know

July 28, 2016 - invisible automatic advocate

July 7, 2016 - the evidence says otherwise (20)

June 2, 2016 - memorized their number

May 19, 2016 - sticking to the sides

April 21, 2016 - seventeen year old me

April 14, 2016 - the deck is stacked

April 8, 2016 - crooked growing plants

March 24, 2016 - thursday night bread and water

March 22, 2016* - by the time it gets to me

March 10, 2016 - notice when it's gone

February 25, 2016 - recalculating

February 11, 2016 - love in redshift

February 4, 2016 - words get out of the way when things start happening

December 17, 2015 - sucking air and water in

November 19, 2015 - God's voicemail while we burn

November 5, 2015 - power, character, and mind

October 29, 2015 - Halloween - cast some spelling poems on you

October 15, 2015 - a bit lighter

September 17, 2015 - gears grinding

September 3, 2015 - heat, brain and deity dance

August 27, 2015 - decay, fool moments

July 30, 2015 - wound, brain, tally

July 16, 2015 - protection, contagion, fell

* read at Eastown Open Mic

 

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